Why? Because goals can never be broken. We don’t “fail” when striving to achieve a goal - we simply keep trying.
Isn’t that more effective than setting an absolute that may be too difficult to achieve?
Set yourself up for success this year- strive to be the best you can be! 😊
Anger is a feeling that is created when an individual perceives a threat to their well being. For example, we tend to feel anger when we believe we have been wronged, ignored, embarrassed, or hurt (physically or emotionally). It is important to identify the feelings and thoughts we experience just prior to feeling angry in order to reduce the negative effects of anger upon those we care about.
Anger is known to be a secondary emotion. It is born from a primary emotion such as pain, fear, embarrassment, etc. It is crucial that we examine and address our primary emotions in order to ensure we are communicating effectively, rather than reacting negatively.
Thoughts create the emotions we feel. All of our emotions stem from a thought- for example: if I think to myself “nobody likes me”, then I will experience feelings of sadness. We may find it helpful to reverse our steps from the feeling of anger in order to discover the initial thought. For example: I felt angry when that person cut me off because I felt scared when I thought, “ he almost caused me to get into an accident ”.
The way in which we handle anger, and our triggers for anger, are often learned by others. We have spent a lifetime observing our parents, siblings, friends, and partners act and react to situations. Understanding why you react negatively to specific triggers may increase understanding in order to help you make a positive change for the future.
Anger is a secondary emotion
- Primary emotions include pain, embarrassment, sadness, fear, etc
- Assess and address the primary emotion in order to prevent the secondary emotion
- Understand that these emotions are a result of making a situation… about YOU (e.g. I am in danger, I am embarrassed or I am hurt )
- Refocus your attention- consider all options and take the focus away from you
- Ask questions!!! Example: “what I’m hearing you say is… Please clarify what you mean by that.”
All emotions first begin with a thought
- Identify the thought you had just prior to the negative emotion
- Consider whether the thought is productive to your well being
- Transform your negative thought to a positive thought in order to eliminate the negative feelings
- Decide whether you are going to allow one negative event to affect your entire day
Anger is learned by:
- Watching others react negatively to situations
- Observing another person being triggered by an event, situation, sound, person, etc
- Having others tell us what should trigger our own anger
